Journal Sample
Normally, your reading homework will consist of 15-30 pages assigned on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This journal sample shows a type of response that would receive 100% credit. The sample is at least one page long (1/2 page typed) because that is the length required for a complete response in your journal. This sample is also useful in demonstrating the depths of a work of poetry and how to reflect upon it.
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask![1]
For journals, I will often give you a question (or questions) to respond to. Sometimes it will ask you to identify and discuss the meaning of a literary device in a particular work. On other occasions it will be a general topic that will lead into class discussion. As you journal, you are providing a critique of what you have read. What is your reaction? What do you think the author was trying to say? What techniques make the writing better? Focus on creating ideas and breaking down (analyzing) what you have read and don’t be overly concerned with grammar and organization. Write questions you would ask the author or things you would say to challenge them. Use your experience and knowledge of the world and relate it to literature. Your journal IS NOT A SUMMARY of the reading. It is a reaction and analysis based on your opinion.
The question for this particular work is: how does Dunbar use rhyme to add to the tone of the poem?
Dunbar uses words like “lies, eyes, guile, and smile” in the first stanza to emphasize the personalization of the poem. This poem is a cry from deep within Dunbar’s soul, and the strong “I” vowel sound in each of these end rhyming words makes it seem as though it is Dunbar who regretfully wears the mask. I associate the long “I” with self because I do this, I say that, I like this, I love her etc. The sound automatically connects with my personal identity. The end rhyme pulls out the “I” syllable and emphasizes it making it long and hollow. The tone of the poem is a cry of pain.
Dunbar continues to use the “I” sound end rhyme throughout the poem (wise, arise, cries, vile, mile) EXCEPT when he uses other poetic strategies. The fifth line says, “And mouth with myriad subtleties” which is alliteration with beginning “m” sound And the repetition of the end line “We wear a mask” in lines 9 and 15. The fifth line uses the word subtleties subtly by NOT having it rhyme with the rest of the poem. This was intentional. He wants the reader to focus on the mouth which is trying to hide its emotions or facial expressions. This re-emphasizes the work of the mask. Then the repetition does the same. “We wear the mask” is a strong statement to make. The rest of the time the “I” end rhyme personalizes the work.
Dunbar refers frequently to we in the poem, which makes the poem special. Since Dunbar is a black man living in the United States during a time when racism and Jim crow laws made black people have to hide the emotions they had towards white people, the poem is directed towards the collective we of black people. At the same time, for someone who didn’t know this, the poem could be referring to the general human nature to conceal our thoughts, feelings, and emotions from others.
The I sounds at the end of the lines means that there is a pause between the end of the last line and the beginning of the first. This further adds to the personal nature of the poem. Dunbar seems to be saying “I lament this” I hate this. This is a poem close to Dunbar’s heart. Dunbar since he is a writer who is probably popular and excepted by white society struggles with “getting paid” while the rest of his collective black culture suffers extreme (oppression) emotion. Dunbar also probably couldn’t reveal his true feelings about race directly to white people for fear they would hurt him.
This is a 100% because it covers rhyme and how it adds to the tone of the poem; it answers the question. It goes into depth and looks at specific lines and parts of the poem. It gives examples and expands on them. While all the assertions may not be accurate they are generally supported with text. The reader also used their knowledge to connect with history and the personal struggle of the poet. It isn’t perfect, but it shows the writer read thoroughly and reflected on what he read. This journal has some mistakes in grammar/punctuation/spelling; it could be more organized and it is slightly repetitive, but, this journal would earn a 100%.
[1] Dunbar, Paul Lawrence. “We Wear the Mask.” Poetry Foundation. 21 July 2012.
<http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173467>
No comments:
Post a Comment